You can't win this battle

2 weekends ago, an event occurred which spelt tragic consequences for the rest of my life. It was to cause never-ending grief, locked in an eternal battle against relentless enemies. And yes, it was to make me enemies in places where I never previously thought possible. It was too late for regrets - the doorway has been walked through and the door slammed shut behind me. Locked in, I have no chance to reverse the chain of events which have led up to where I am now.

Oh, that event? I collected my newly purchased car.

:)

Yup, sure I'm now a happy car owner, but I've made enemies. Presenting here, in no particular order (though they are all annoying and irritating to different degrees), the rogues' gallery:

1. Trees - My tree hugging days are over. Trees mean leaves. Leaves fall when the wind blows, and this means leaves can fall on my car. Add in rainwater and damn do they stick like superglue. It is a nightmare walking towards my car and seeing the profusion of yellow and brown leaves plastered all over. No, I don't really need trees for shade - I don't often drive around noon anyway.

And the worst part about leaves? Those buggers can find their way into every nook and cranny of your car. I've had to dig them out of spots where my pinky couldn't even fit in. The moment I dig a leaf out, some other leaf manages to dig its way in. Argh...

2. Birds - These... these... fowl beasts. I don't think I need to describe the indignity of what these... fowls can inflict on one's precious. (oh do curb that Gollumic behaviour). White, brown shitstains with a touch of the acidic. The worst is when they land on windshields - the shit trails (depending on how wet they are) are just plain horror to clean off.

I keep wet tissue packets picked up from restaurants for the sole purpose of wiping fowl shitstains. And I'm already running out (four shitstains cleaned thus far - I'm an unlucky guy).

3. Lorries (and other big vehicles) - They go slow. They don't signal. I'm impatient. They're a nuisance. They don't look out for the little guys. They're big and they block my view.

Ok, I'm just impatient.

4. Hurricane Katrina, Saddam Hussein, OPEC, George Bush, the Middle East, Muslim militants etc - if nothing other than for the fact that all of the above tend to inflict upward trends onto oil prices. I should not pay THIS much for dead dinosaur mulch.

5. Rain - The worst thing the weather can do to a black car is to rain on it, then cook it dry. Something about the rain we have in Singapore is that it leaves behind this white residue-y stuff which clings onto a car and forms a film of whiteish stains. The only hope of salvation is for the next heavy rain to wash them off (with fingers crossed that this one doesn't leave white stains too).

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I think the battle with the elements of nature is one we are bound to lose - the car will always get dirty. I've realised that the moment I cleaned the car, I'm inviting a whole new host of dirt and other undesirables to invade my car. It is the leaves that are especially annoying - they find their way into the unlikeliest places, stick in there, rot, and refuse to leave.

In any case, if you do see a shitstained rain-splattered Mitsubishi Lancer with leaves stuck on like post-it pads zipping around with an SFY plate, be sure to wave --- it could be me. :)

Possessed

Do you remember the first camera you owned? Suddenly, you have a tool with which to capture the sights and sounds around you. Life has a whole new definition - the camera becomes the focal point of your existence. You want to capture certain sights, keep a snapshot of a memory. You'll even invent reasons for using the object (Let's take a picture of mum cooking for keepsakes!).

Probably not everyone had a camera fetish though...

What about your first handphone? Do you remember? Life re-orients itself when you own a communicative device such as that. Your friends' handphone numbers get stored in it, and it becomes the centre around which appointments are arranged. Accessories such as handphone covers, little stringy attachments and downloadable ringtones accompany it.

How about that ultimate object - the CAR? Do you remember when you first owned a car? This is as opposed to driving your parents' car(s). When you truly own a car (like paying the cash for it and driving it), you have arrived. The car empowers you; you have friends you never knew you had and parking becomes a sport. Money suddenly flows like water - petrol, parking, accessories, car washes etc.

Certain postive feelings are created whenever we own a new item. It creates in us feelings of elation to touch and hold something postively useful; to wield it and show it off to our friends (sometimes on a sub-conscious level, but it is there). Comparisons are drawn between the haves and the have-nots, and there is a certain satisfaction to gain from owning an object that is, in one way or another, superior to someone else's.

But there is a dark side to ownership. When a person regards the object as important and precious (think poor misunderstood Gollum), that person's sense of worth becomes somewhat warped.

Have you ever dropped a friend's brand new camera? That friend turns unfriendly - the slightest scratch, the smallest perceived misfunction of the equipment can drive wedges into a friendship. A grudge, unforgiving stares, numerous reminders that afore-mentioned item has been damaged by you. The object takes on more importance simply because it was paid for. Simply because it is precious.

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I used be obsessed over my new handphone. My first one to be precise, for all the others following it generated less excitement and awe. It wasn't a great handphone - a Nokia 5110 I think. But it served me well and I was fascinated with it. It will be kept in as good a contdion as it possibly can be - that first time a scratch appeared on its panel, I was sore just rubbing away at it. At the same time, I also started to get acquainted with all the handphone models out there on the market - I knew what the good models were, how much they costed, even some of the other features they had that mine doesn't have (this was possible in the older days).

In other words, I became a handphone junkie. I will stare into shop windows, longing to own one handphone or the other, feeling inadequate because my 5110 just doesn't cut it (too chunky, can't program ringtones, etc). I became that kind of materialistic person where the object of affection, notably a device such as the handphone, exerts a certain control over my wants and desires. It's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs reaching it's lowest rungs.

At some point, all of us feel that attachment with an object, be it a handphone, camera, PDA, MP3 player. It extends to other expensive stuff too - Hermes handbags, Tag Heuer watches etc. It's the forces of materialism I suppose, and there's no denying that it drives us. Our wants drive our sense of self-worth, and we're driven to accumulate the cash to attain them.

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Gollum and his obsession with the one ring is perhaps the warning of where our materialism can drive us (well, think metaphorically here - I know Gollum's mind was warped by the ring et al but if you think about what JRR Tolkien might be telling us, you can draw the connections). Life is not measured by what we own. Life should be measured by the relationships we create. And the legacy of what we leave behind is not in monuments such as that house or car - they fade, rust and get buried in the sands of time. The legacy we leave behind is our children, our DNA so to speak.

Possessions are not the ultimate measure of one's worth, so stop the obsessing, please.