The Great Recap Episode, Part 1

I guess it is a little late to do one of those New Year's posts. In Dec 2006, it's all fine to talk about how 2006 went for you. In Jan 2007, it's even more poignant to recall the good and bad times that rolled by. By Feb 2007, nobody really cares anymore (they're all smashed by CNY and Valentine's Day).

When it is well into 2007 (March?), nobody writes such retrospective tripe anymore - people just look forward rather than back.

Anyhey, I've got my recap tripe penned away (in longhand and in succinct point form) in my notebook since early Jan 2007. It's no good sitting in that notebook, which is now awash with scribbly blue script, mostly of soundbites captured during interviews that I conducted, and some of those itty-bitty common sense that wise men (and women) dish out to me.

Since it has no place in a notebook (of scribbly throwaway tripe), it shall go somewhere with at least a possibility of some longevity: here on this blog.

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So what defines 2006 for me? We'll go with the following categories.

Places I visited
2006 was the year I visited the most countries ever! (in a single year that is). Of course, my log of visited countries comes nowhere close to the typical INSEADer - crazy travellers, all of them, especially when they descended on Asia - it still meant a watershed in terms of places seen (and money spent).

Where was I last year? In no particular order: Cambodia, France, UK, India, Holland, Thailand, Belgium, Spain, the Czech Republic, Luxembourg, Malaysia, and early in 2007 the Philippines. I was also briefly in the UAE (twice), but that was only in the cavernous Dubai airport (I never got out of there). Also, most of the time, I only visited one city (or the capital city) in the above-mentioned countries. The one with the most visited cities will probably be France, since there was significant driving through much its countryside during my 4 months or so there.

Personal Life
2006 was an upheaval. I gained new friends, and tragically lost a love and lost my grandmother as well. I learnt what it was to manipulate people, and what it felt like to be manipulated as well - I've never felt more used, and I've never been more cunning.

But alas, I never learnt the lesson of guarding one's heart. I've never learnt to harden myself and innure myself against hurt and sorrow. Guess that's why I get hurt and why I sometimes am afraid to care about others. (Ed note: don't write this kind of thing when you know who might read this blog... but who cares right?)

Friends
A year with significant time out of town = less time with friends I've come to loved and cherished. Sure, there were new friends to be had, but I don't think that friendships which lasted for less than a year seriously count: such relationships did not go through that test called TIME. I've lost touch with some good friends, but being home (and somewhat homebound now) has helped build back some of these relationships.

Side note: I felt touched to be invited to a few weddings for this year... it is wonderful when you haven't really spoken to someone in over a year, and the next thing you get is a wedding invitation. Touched.

On another note: For a brief period, my friends were doing the wedding thingy on me: invitations left / right / centre with nary a month to catch my breath. Now, they're doing the kiddy pwn on me: at least 5 friends in the last one year actively made babies (and said bye bye to their sex lives for awhile!), with a couple in the midst of pregnancy and the rest losing sleep and mulling over creative names for birth certificates. Good luck Moms and Dads!

Gawd I'm sooooo jealous of all of you.

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And what of resolutions for 2007? A bit late when it is March to make such pronouncements, but these were heartfelt determined inclinations when they were first penned in Jan:

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Strictly speaking, there are no resolutions. None.

I do have things which I feel I want to achieve for myself in the year 2007. Some personal goals perhaps. However, I do not think that telling myself that I have the resolve to do it in the beginning of the year will mean that I actually do them by the end of the year. It simply means that I don't want to do a self-non-fulfilling proclamation (it's like the self-fulfilling prophecy, but in reverse and applied to meaningless forgettable New Year utterances)

I'll tell you what I feel is a much better approach. Dear readers of my blog (all 10 of you, more or less!), I give you, below, my HOPES for the year 2007:

1) I hope for a job that I can excel in. I hope to see this job for its +ves rather than its -ves. I hope that my work life gets defined by its positive aspects more than its negative aspects, and that I come to appreciate the better aspects of it. (this comes from always having adopted the worst case scenario / outcome outlook with my previous job, which is just SO depressing)

2) I hope to mend fences. Fences with my ex. Fences with people I have offended in the past.

Speaking of which, a particular girl I hope to mend fences with is... ah, let's just say it is this GIRL. Said girl was annoyed by a particular late night activity of mine (which involved me barging into her flat at untold hours of the night demanding to deposit unowned articles of hers while unwillingly letting me in unwittingly witness her in her unflattering PJs - some friends will know who!), and thereafter, showed me what it felt like to get the Subtle Cold Shoulder.

Her style of the Subtle Cold Shoulder was to employ the Photo-Taking Exclusion Principle. Suppose you are in the vicinity of said girl and another girl / guy / whatever. Said girl is your typical camwhore (who isnt?) lugging that ubiquitous digicam on a string around to the whatever event that you're both at. The Photo-Taking Exclusion Principle that she employs will mean that you will SOMEHOW end up helping her take pictures, or be in the vicinity when pictures of her (and whoevers) are being taken, without YOU ever being invited to be in any of them (for more clarification on what it feels to be a victim of this phenomenon, take a look at my theory on the Sour Grapes Syndrome).

By the way, as of March 2007, I think I've mended fences somewhat with said girl.

3) I hope to learn to dance. Rather than just sway to the beat, or spasm on the dancefloor, or tap my foot, it'll be great if I can actually sashay instead. Salsa will probably be the way to go on this, but I do prefer going with someone I know though.

Ed Note: I'm afraid I'm putting this on hold for the moment while I get over this gymming phase-craze I'm currently into.

4) I hope to travel, and I hope to travel at someone else's expense, i.e. I don't spend anything on airfare, food, lodging. I guess this means I get a job and get paid to go places (and hopefully sneak off once in a while to shoot pictures!). I hope to see more of this wonderful world, and I hope to document more of what I see in pictures. I hope and I hope and I hope of all things that this will be something that can actually happen in 2007.

5) Of course, I always hope to write more - and to perhaps also explore whether I have any aptitude in this area. I love to put my thoughts on paper (online more than on paper these days). The problem is that I don't exactly have an 'angle', nor do I stand out amidst the rabble of bloggers out there (ranting and raving their very best). It's like, people blog about somewhat particular niches of experiences, while I talk about all and sundry (and dirty laundry to boot). So while this remains a hope, it is something I hope to have a little recognition for.

I can hope, can't I?

Happy 2007 (3 months in)



Notes:
1. Getting the Subtle Cold Shoulder (SCS) is a little unlike the Cold Shoulder. Getting the Subtle Cold Shoulder is like being in a social situation with the SCS-deliverer (and some other friends) who, through her actions / words / body language, cut you out of the pack you both hang out with. This is usually done in such an undetected manner that both victim and the pack don't come to realise it until the victim start feeling left out (in certain social proceedings, one of which is the camwhoring).
2. The Photo-Taking Exclusion Principle (PTEP) is applied whenever a group photo is being taken, and a particular member or 2 of the group is excluded from it, usually intentionally. The principle is sometimes applied for practical purposes (the group is too large to fit in the shot, someone is not present at supposed group activity), but is on occasion a hint of the Subtle Cold Shoulder being applied. Group-camwhoring is one of those social occasions when PTEP can rear its ugly head, particularly weeks down the road when pockets of the group get together to view photos (on the yearbook, Flickr, albums, wherever); the excluded often feel pangs of unease at being unphotoed.
3. Yes, I do like to come up with stupid, silly acronyms to describe social situations which probably don't happen to everybody. But hey, it's my blog right? That argument always wins. :)

On Pretty Much Everything in My Life Since Whenever

1. I'm still job-hunting. It doesn't feel like hunting much anymore: Job-Hunting sounds like the kind of thing where you traipse around hilly forestland cradling a rifle, ears cocked and eyes darting from side to side, waiting to pounce upon unsuspecting deer. My job hunting is more like a pimping parade where I sell myself like a two-bit whore to the most down and out drive-by looking for a cheap and good time. I don't want to sell myself short; I also don't want to live through half of this fantabulous year STILL housed with my parents (which is where that income... IN-COME... will come in handy).

2. I'm not all bitter and sarcastic though. Life threw me a curve ball in the form of an old secondary school friend. He needed help at his search firm (otherwise known as employment or recruitment agency, but search firm sounds waaaaay cooler) and I gladly jumped at the offer.

The search industry is highly saturated - there are all kinds of firms filling every area of executive search possible. Segment it by industry and you have professionals serving banks, manufacturers, FMCG companies etc. Segment it by function and you have firms that keep files on finance, HR, customer service, marketing, and IT professionals among others. Segment it by complexity and you might see firms looking for management positions or trying to fill temp staff.

And if you don't know where to start when looking for a job, head down to International Plaza and take the lift to the highest floor; ditch the lift and knock on all doors next to signs that have either of the following words: "Consultancy", "Talent", "Recruitment", "Services". Chances are, they are an agency and you can leave your CV behind (no guarantees).

3. Speaking of that search strategy, there was a good reason why my friend locks the door to his office (at International Plaza... affectionately known among the HR-literati as IP). There are so many job seekers doing the hit-and-miss that the door gets an average of 8 knocks a day. Most of the time, they try twisting the knob and go away after finding no one home (we don't open it).

On occasions, I have had to entertain the lucky few who managed to enter because one of us forgets to lock the door - it isn't pleasant (for me): "We don't entertain walk-ins" seem to work the charm and the job seeker tries his luck next door; "We don't have positions at the moment" seem to trigger other desperate measures so I don't use that line anymore; "We are not an employment agency" is a partial lie which I hate to employ. IP being recruitment firm central (Adecco's among the biggest here), these seekers are bound to find something eventually.

4. What is it about hitting that big 30 which makes a guy worry? Nearing 30, your typical Singaporean dude will start thinking about settling down - or when he stops thinking about it, will settle for NEVER settling down, but most guys do the wanna-settle-down thinking more than the never-gonna-settle thinking. It preoccupies him, becomes him, and defines him. He becomes driven by it, or will end up not caring (i.e. never-gonna-settle).

Let's see what happens to the wanna-settle-down guy: he becomes less of a risk-taker, preferring options that guarantee him more safety, assurance and perhaps less uncertainty; the settle-down mentality guides all future actions: perhaps he plans more financially, perhaps he sees more people (if he's still single), perhaps he decides not to seek a job overseas; Singapore's inhibiting social norms start panicking him out: words such as ROM, flat-apartment-condo, ceremony, and wedding dinner start becoming a part of the vocabulary; oh yes, there is that ring shopping and damn marketing-speak about how expensive the ring should be (Side note: bring your girlfriend to watch Blood Diamond to convince her of evil machinations behind the nasty diamond trade - she might change her mind about whining for that expensive piece of carbon; convince her by telling her it stars a fat Leonardo DiCaprio).

It all stems from the time-bomb notion: the clock is ticking away and counting down the minutes of your short existence; brief lives indeed. To make the most of the time you have on earth, to live it to its fullest extent possible, you feel you have to settle down. 30 is the point, the barrier. You are now a man and a boy no longer (yes, you'd better be). Time's running out. It doesn't help that your friends are settling down. It doesn't help that some of them are into their 2nd kid already. It doesn't help to forget to bring Christmas presents for little kiddies running around calling you uncle (ack... I'm an uncle now).

Oh yes, I turned 30 last year but hey, I still think about silly stuff like this. :)

5. So what did I do for New Year? I met one friend, and then I met another. With friend #1, it was coffee, cake, and chat. With her, it is always those 3 C's whenever we decide that we need each other's company. We summed up our 2006, talked about new year resolutions (she resolves to be a better organised person; I don't make resolutions, but I did say something about learning to dance). Friend #1 is going on to better things in her life and walks away, head held high - she calls later to wish me a Happy New Year and I've never felt happier that there are friends who remember you. May distance never be a barrier to our friendship.

Friend #2 was a different encounter: we sat down and watched a DVD. It's like the DVD-rental relationship: rent DVD, sit down with popcorn (or in our case, some ice cream) and watch the time away. Oh yes, there is that obligatory switch over to Mediacorp's Channel 5 to count down (they are supposedly 'official time'). The count down program, as with any count-down programs by Mediacorp in the last 20 odd years, sucked: some star will be singing, followed by another star, and then the time comes to count down, they will count down, sing Auld Lang Syne, and its back to more of the same. Oh and it MUST be hosted by Gurmit Singh and Michelle Chia.

After catching some shut eye, we headed out to watch the sun rise and get breakfast. Not much sun for the first day of 2007 though... not that it portends anything of the future - I do hope the sun shines down favourably on the new year.

6. I bought two books a week back, each for a very different reason. The Long Tail is a book about how the Internet phenomenon is bringing society back to being the niche culture it was before mass media came into existence. On the other hand, Guns, Germs and Steel is a 10,000 walk through the history of the world as we know it. Both books have similarities: the Long Tail offers a framework for understanding how to market products to the niche cultures of today (and why they matter - the niches are the long tail of the title); Guns, Germs and Steel go behind the scenes to understand the real forces that shaped history, and comes to an understanding of why Western European civilization came to dominate in recent history.

The reasons behind buying them differ. I bought the latter book because I'm a sucker for popular books which take a crack at explaining history (or sociology, or applied economics); I intend to look smart while reading it and then telling people about views from it (without actually telling them about the source - how smart). The former book I bought for a somewhat nefarious reason: to try to have something intelligent to say at a job interview. The interviewer I was meeting had talked about the book before and I thought it might impressed him if I can say something about it (I did, but in a rather clumsy way, alluded to the book and my praise for its theories).

The challenge is now to actually read them. Given the busy work at IP. Given some of the travelling that I will be doing. Given the hectic search for a job. Given this. Given that.

7. In other news, this is one of those years where marriageable folk everywhere will rush to book that lucky date for their wedding dinner. Which one am I talking about? How about the 7th of July, 2007? And this is a good point on which to end this post: point #7.

Have a lucky 2007 ahead.