Golf Ga-Ga

1. Golf is a game about achieving perfection. I think this is the reason why top level executives (and many others who strive to be one of them, those wannabes) are so attracted to the beautiful game: because it is a game that requires perfection in order to succeed.

2. There are so many levels to how golf tests the perfectionist, chief among which is 'The Swing'. The way one swings a golf club determines the ball's trajectory. In the case of a beginner at the driving range (yours truly being one), about 1 out of 5 times, the ball flies in a somewhat agreeable arc. The rest of the time, one of the following happens: the ball limps and rolls away awkwardly; the ball whacks into the lane divider violently and announces your terrible golf skills for all to hear; the ball flies too far left or too far right of where you intend it to go; or you miss entirely and subsequently pretend that you were just doing a dry run of a swing.

3. Golf gear is designed by Darth Vader. Really. Just wearing my golf glove alone makes me feel like a Stormtrooper:


Now, all I need are White / Black golf shoes, and an uber-cool Stormtrooper helmet to complete the look. :)

4. Hitting that perfect swing is an indescribable feeling: the word that comes closest is 'SHIOK' (non-Singaporean readers, click the link, go pick up some Singlish). And when the club connects with the ball in the right way, a satisfying sound is emitted 'PUCK', the ball flies in the right trajectory (a low curve for the 7-iron, a high curl for the pulling wedge, and that far far away feeling with the 5-wood)... in other words, perfection. It is so intoxicatingly sweet to have hit 'the spot' that one feels willing to give up sex forever if he can keep hitting balls that way... forever and ever.

5. And that's where we come to the point where I think golf is... a 'symbol' for sex. In this game, you play with a club (a somewhat phallic thing, don't you think?) and swing it around using both your hands; you hit balls; you 'score' when you get your ball into a hole; some of your clubs are known as woods - no, not Tiger we're talking about here, but those golf clubs you wrap in socks - and the woods are typically 'bulbous' and you have to frequently wrap them in 'protective gear'; the golf course is littered with obstacles like sand traps and water hazards - much like how the pursuit of sex is laden with booby traps of its own; golf courses are designed to be undulating slopes - which mimic the sinuous curves of the alluring female; oh... I can go on and on.

6. Picking up golf has only been possible because I am currently single. Being a singleton has its advantages: I can indulge in more meaningless usage of my time - not that whacking balls at the driving range is meaningless, mind you, but in comparison to quality time with the significant other, whacking golf balls can pale in comparison as a better use of scarce resources (as time goes). Worser still if your significant other cannot appreciate the activity, and worser still if she cannot see why it supercedes time spent cuddling, kissing, and... shit, I'm seriously lacking affection. :(

Been there, done that

The need to try everything, to try experience every conceivable activity, is inherent in all of us. I believe it stems from the human need to want things. Economic theory teaches us that human demands are unlimited, but supply is constrained (i.e. limited). So, a balance is achieved between what we want, and what we can obtain, and demand equals supply.

But I'm not one to talk about economics. What I'm speaking of is the inherent human need to want. What I'm speaking about is the inherent human need to experience.

Perhaps I'm just not getting it: why do we justify the things we do by saying that "it's something I've never experienced before, so I should try it"? We want to try new things out, and the only reason that is worth justifying it is this: 'I've never tried it before, so here I go'.

And that is the basis for all the actions I'm about to list out below:
1. Having sex
2. Smoking pot
3. Drinking alcohol
4. Getting drunk
5. Travelling to obscure parts of this big big world
6. Eating exotic food
7. Participating in extreme sports
8. Going diving (very popular, this one)
9. Doing an MBA (??)
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The list goes on and on.

I don't get it: why do we want to do new things so much? I can understand if you've never eaten Chinese food before, and you would like to try it. But I don't get it if you've never smoked pot and you want to try it. First of all, it's not healthy. Second, you get real stoned - maybe you get more creative, maybe you get more numbed from the experience. And then the result is that you did not enjoy the experience (it wasn't that pleasant huh?), but you justify it by saying, 'I've tried it'. So the point of the experience was to have something akin to boasting rights, something like a little badge to pin on your shoulder, something akin to another table conversation topic.

I don't get it: why are we willing to fork out good money to experience new things? Perhaps you're genuinely interested in seeing what the underwater world is like. Perhaps you are looking for an exciting new way to exercise. Diving does introduce you to a whole new world, a whole new experience. But it costs you. Nonetheless, you have to go for it. Why? Because it is an exciting experience. Because diving gives you a new high, it gives you great pictures to show off to other people. Then you can go exclaiming about that wonderful underwater world that you discovered, the beautiful coral fish, and that shark you saw swimming by. What of it?

Conversation fillers I think. We're all looking for things to say about our lives, and the more we can pepper our conversations with such experiences, the more we appear to be interesting people.

Pathetic aren't we all?

In case you get me wrong on that count, I'm not saying one should never try smoking pot or diving. I'm just against the idea of doing something for the sake of experiencing it - I think that things should be done for the reason that you are GENUINELY interested in them.

Like salsa. Do salsa because you like dancing. Do salsa because it is a great way to meet people. DON'T do salsa because you want to experience it. Don't do it because you've never tried it before, and therefore you want to try it to 'see how'.

Why am I so strongly against that? Because I think that the typical human being, who tries his hand at something for the experience, is doing it for the wrong reason. The wrong reason is to try an experience to gain an 'experience'. The right reason is to do it because you have a genuine passion for it.

Perhaps you need to try it first to gain a passion for it. I don't doubt that, but don't tell me nonsense about how something like 'doing an MBA' is just for the experience. It's good money spent on just an experience, and without the passion and drive for it, you're just not going to love it.

Love what you do, and love what you experience. I'm being preachy here because I'm kind of high (shit, that's what this Brazillian drink called Capirinha does to you). I just don't think that the 'experience' justifies it anymore. I don't think that having 'been there' and 'done that' is enough of an accolade, and people realise soon enough the phony that you are: it comes out in what you say when you aren't truly passionate for something.

So go: love what you do, do what you love.