Friday, November 04, 2005

A fork in the middle of the road

Qn: What do you do when you come to a fork in the road of Life?

Ans: Look for a spoon.

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Well, it isn't funny, of course, but it seems like a large part of my last 2 years of existence have followed that principle: screw the fork in the road, I'll sit on my ass and chew on it.

Not any more.

Life does not wait for one to idle. It does not wait for one to think things through and sit on one's rear end. Life takes the approach of a relentless assault onwards. It forces you to make decisions, and when you don't make those damn decisions (like... left road or right road) it'll take the (likely) unfavourable one for you.

So here I am, led unwillingly along the path of Life, standing at the cusp of no return. The signs that led me along this road were obvious and loud; on my part, I was blind and ignorant, a show of blatant disregard for the obvious. Now I face a difficult task ahead: I have to change or lose that which is so important to me. There is no alternative.

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So, how is it possible to change one's nature? It certainly does not happen overnight, and it does not happen without a fundamental re-wiring of one's internal psyche. My only recourse is to pray about it (God answers prayers). It's not a coward's way out - it really is the best antidote to salve the pain.

Try. I always try. "Do. Or do not. There is no try." so said Yoda.

So right you are.

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