Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
Perhaps it is much better to throw in the towel, quit trying and admit that "YES! I'm not strong enough. I don't deserve YOU!". But having accepted the lifeline, I acceot that there is an opportunity to change how you feel.
Perhaps you will be impatient, you won't wait. That is fair - I shouldn't be the reason why you're being held back.
Perhaps I'm fundamentally unchangeable. This means that no matter how hard I try, I cannot pass off being something I am not.
Perhaps you've seen me for who I really am: insecure, weak, defective. I am not all these. I am sometimes these and I am sometimes something else. Are you sure you really know me?
Perhaps you will give me a shot at redemption. I wanted to traverse the course with you since the beginning, and you gave me the assurance that you wanted to do the same. Why can't we work together on it now?
Perhaps I shouldn't wonder - what good comes of asking what if? Live life with no regrets, and perhaps 'perhaps' will no longer be a word muttered this often.
I don't have the conviction now. I'll prove to you that there is one.
3 comments:
Yup... November is officially my cruelest month, though I'm somewhat relieved at the conclusion (yes, broke up).
It is not that someone tries to change the one they love - it is the expectations that have changed. Sometimes, we want someone to change to meet our new expectations, and where it is not possible, disappointment results.
It's bougainvillea. :) Which local flowering beds can you grab these from anyway? (I'm afraid I don't know what they look like...)
Hehe... I'm doing fine - actually quite relieved and happy that it didn't end in a bad way.
Hey hungrybunny, guess you won't notice this comment now. Thanks for the offer of bougainvilleas - been really good to have the encouragement et al. :) I'm alright now - don't need flowers anymore (I wanna give flowers instead)
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