Lines in the Sand

Sometime during the last couple of months, it dawned on me that the number of friends who know about this blog has grown.

Here's how I analyse this:

1. There is a universe out there called the 'Friendspace', which are the people I know and can reasonably call my friend or acquaintance. Acquaintances are also in the Friendspace, but are not accorded status 'Friend', though statuses are never a permanent kind of thing.

2. This is a blog I write and which I update as often as I so wish. Usually, I write whenever I have something to get off my chest. At other times, I wrote because I thought I have something clever to say. There were also times when I wrote nonsense just to satisfy that notion that someday I will be a writer of note.

3. When this blog first started, Friendspace and blog don't intersect. Well, they aren't quite in the same frame of the universe, so to speak, but you know what I mean: friends generally do not know of my blog.

4. Gradually though, I started to let some friends know. It's a funny game that bloggers (like me) play: they aren't blogging for the fame (initially). Sometimes, it's because I learnt about a friend's blog, and decided to reciprocate. Sometimes, I left obvious links which allowed people to figure out my identity. Sometimes, I told people outright that I blog. Sometimes, I just get found out by the occasional stumbler from the net.

5. Generally though, Friendspace and blog existed peacefully, but there were times when certain things were blogged about certain friends, and that fragile peace in Friendspace land gets threatened.

6. Thus, with that last thought in mind, I find it so much harder to be truthful with my own blog. Like, there're things I want to talk about, but out of sensitivity and grace, I leave it out entirely. Maybe that explains why really good soulful blogs descend into nonsensical mush - I think some bloggers end up blogging to please. They're playing to the peanut gallery, canvassing for applause wherever they can.

7. So I'm not sure for now how to proceed. I'll still blog, and I think I'll still blog what I want to blog about. This blog is not therapy, it certainly isn't a mundane recount of my daily existence, it isn't really an MBA blog either (I don't say much, really, about school), and it certainly isn't popular enough to be a source of entertainment (I'm no camera whore!).

8. Until I get real serious kickbacks from this blog, I am going to largely IGNORE the fact that there are people I know reading it. Until I experience severe aftershocks in Friendspace, I shall CONTINUE to write in as irresponsible a way as I feel I should, and nothing anyone can say will make me change my opinions.

9. In other words, if you don't see eye to eye with me on my ramblings, I truly don't give a... hehe... fuck.

10. Need I say more?

Disclaimer: Friendspace isn't Girlfriendspace unfortunately, so some things are, still, very much out of bounds. Cheers to privacy!